Ugh!

When we think of a pastor, I believe we most often think in terms of someone who is good at nurturing and taking care of needs, who will offer wise counsel and solace to those who are troubled or hurting. When you fill the role of pastor and all you really have to offer is what you can do "up front", if your only strength is the teaching/preaching aspect of the position, then it is really ugly when you deliver a sermon that just hangs out there in the air for a few seconds before gravity grabs it and it crashes to the floor. It feels like being naked in front of everyone in the room, knowing that you're sinking fast and there is nothing else in your makeup or history to cry out, "It's okay! This is not all I am! You know my other strengths, so just rely on those in this awkward moment!"

Sunday I laid out a clunker. It looked so good on paper and it was delivered so poorly. Add to that the fact that about half of the crowd was made up of visitors from other parts of the country and the uncomfortable factor was incredible. I wanted nothing so much as a place to hide. It felt like farting in class. It just reinforces the urgency of my need to find something else to do, something that I am designed to do. The ultimate showdown must be approaching.