Restless in a Steady World

Left or Right or Wrong?

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Sat, 02 Sep 2006 17:36:00 +0000

I was reading this article in the local rag this morning.

http://www.startribune.com/614/story/650303.html

As I read, I was able to begin to articulate some things I have been wrestling with for a while:

I don't like the left's views on poverty.
I don't like the right's views on the poor.

I don't like the left's views on homosexuality.
I don't like the right's views on homosexuals.

I don't like the left's lack of standards of morality.
I don't like the right's self-righteousness in the area of morality.

I don't like the left's worship of the environment.
I don't like the right's disregard for environmental stewardship.

I'm sick of politics, liberal or conservative, and really just want to follow Jesus.

I feel like I don't fit in, although reading this article has given me hope. It may not come while I'm at this particular church, but there are outlets for my quest. God willing, I'm on my way.

It's All About...

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 22:27:00 +0000

The song on my CD player right now says, "It's all about you, Jesus." I wonder how much of my life really is all about him. I seem to squeeze him in around all the other stuff that demands my attention on a daily basis. You know, important stuff like...sports, the internet, working out, newspapers, snacks, gossip, staring blindly into space. Why do I neglect so often that which I claim is of supreme importance?

The disciples said, "To whom would we go? You alone have the words of life." And yet I ask everyone I know their opinions, their advice, their take on things before I even pause to say, "What do you think Jesus?" It seems that I live a secular life and try to spiritualize things when the mood strikes me. Why is that?

Do I blame him for my state? Do I fear that if I really dive in, I'll be over my head? Do I just not have a clue? Am I simply human or am I simply making excuses?

The temptation is to do a Peter and ask, "What about him?" I really like it when I can compare my intimacy with God to a few select other people. But I'm not called to live out someone else's relationship with him, simply to follow him myself. So comparison is no good. Crud. I hate that! I have to stand there naked before him and admit that I've placed everything else first and see the hurt in his face, the rejection in his eyes. And that cuts. Or else I have to get up off my butt and seek him today.

Worth the Risk?

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Sat, 05 Aug 2006 14:23:00 +0000

I've been reading a couple of books by Erwin McManus lately and I'm more convicted than ever that I've spent my adult life taking the path of least risk. I got my education in religion, so I've settled for positions of security in churches that don't challenge me and then I wonder why I feel so restless. God seems to be saying "STOP being so SAFE and get out on the edge a bit!" I am starting to try my wings, but it can be scary when you've been safe for so long. Whatever the next position is, though, it will have to include a strong missional element or I'll just keep looking.

Things continue to deteriorate here. A meeting has been called with the conference superintendent to air complaints and grievances against me. I think that between my lack of desire to be a pastor and our inability to understand one another philosophically and culturally, this might be my shortest stay ever. It is August. I'll be surprised if I'm still around here by the first of the year. I've never experienced a place where I'm the center of so much controversy. There have been conflicts through the years, but usually they're dealt with and we go on to become friends. Doesn't seem to be a possibility here. I'm constantly looking over my shoulder and it seems as if I offend someone just about every day. Short of a complete personality and wiring transplant with a removal of any and all passion, I'm not sure what I can do.

I'm listening to the latest Johnny Cash release, AmericanV: A Hundred Highways. What an amazing CD. There is so much haunting repentance and redemption in the lyrics and in his voice. Was never a big JC fan, but the stuff he did toward the end is just incredible. I recommend to everyone, country fan or not.

Peace of Christ.

Catching My Breath

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Thu, 27 Jul 2006 19:18:00 +0000

What a blur summer can be. After the long vacation, I had a couple of weeks to catch my breath and then head off to church camp to run the youth program. Not a week for the ages. I've never experienced mass resistance, anger and outrage like I did last week at camp. Most of the time, people take some time before they hate me. Not so much this time! My co-director and I made a small change in the schedule and things deterioriated quickly from there. By the end of the week, we at least had a civil relationship with the kids and some of the parents, but wow, what an ugly situation.

I took my kids to Missouri for a second (consecutive) week of camp. Got to see my grandma--she's doing great--and spend some time with my two favorite cousins. Made it to Kaufmann Stadium for a Royals game for the first time in years. And THEY WON!!! It doesn't get any better than that. And now I'm home and Carol and I have a few days alone together. What a nice break.

Before camp, I took the Miller Analogies Test to gain admission into grad school. I think I did okay, but am still waiting for the results. Life hangs in the balance. Or something like that.

From here it stays busy for a while. Got to remember to keep things close to God or I might go crazy!

Peace of Christ.

I Would Drive 3500 Miles...

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Wed, 28 Jun 2006 14:32:00 +0000

We left on June 12th and returned on June 27th. In between, we drove over 3500 miles, first for our denomination's quadrennial General Conference, then for about 10 days of vacation. It was our first big vacation as a family. We have always vacationed at our parents' houses before, so this was a new experience. What a great trip. Here are the highlights:

Pittsburgh: we elected a new General Superintendent, Brian Eckhardt. What a great choice. I am looking forward to seeing Brian lead The Evangelical Church into the future. Also got to see some old friends and make some new ones.

New Jersey: a lot of fun. Defining comment: "It was weird that it wasn't weird." Being back in New Jersey seemed like being home. The people at Wiley Church are really our family and the culture of South Jersey really fits me. We had much fun staying with Jay and Barb and their kids. I ate two cheesesteaks and three water ices. Went to church that really felt like church. Spent a day at the shore. My son and I got matching bead necklaces at the 99 cent store on the Ocean City boardwalk.

New Hampshire: a really nice couple of nights with Jan and two of her girls. Got to meet Devin, the grandson. He is quite the charmer. While in NH, we drove to Maine just to say we have been there and had a lot of fun at the Kittery Trading Post. Took Emilee to her first college visit and interview at Gordon College in the Boston area. She thinks it is wicked awesome!

Niagara Falls: we got to see a fireworks display at the falls on Friday night. Pretty cool. Felt very touristy and was great fun. Don't understand exchange rates yet, but give us time.

Michigan: got to hang out with Carol's brother Tim and his family for a couple of days. This is where the end of trip cold really caught up with me, so I slept a lot. It was nice for the kids to get better acquainted with their cousins and to visit Tim's church and hear him preach. We don't see each other often, so it was very nice.

The drive home: drove through Michigan, across the Mackinac Bridge and the UP. Stayed in Iron Mountain on Monday night, an interesting little town. Drove across Wisconsin on Tuesday to come home. What a beautiful drive. Carol is already checking out properties!

That comes to 3500 miles. No car troubles, no serious conflicts. A great time with the family and many reunions with friends. Now I'm home and in serious need of a vacation!

Balance is hard!

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Fri, 02 Jun 2006 14:20:00 +0000

I work out just about every day. Usually about once each week I take classes at the Y to help motivate the workouts the remainder of the week. I can handle most of the strength and endurance exercises. Balance, however, is a different story. Balance is hard!

We're finishing up our first year here in the Minneapolis area. I have been reminded as this school year comes to a close how hard it is to achieve balance when you have two adults and three children living together. Our oldest loves it here. She has found her niche in a huge school (bigger than the entire town we used to live in) and has made so many friends that I can't keep track of all of them. Her grades are outstanding, her drive and ambition frightening. She talks to other kids about her faith and is something of a mentor to many of her classmates. It has been a dramatic turnaround.

Middle child has always been the outgoing, contented child. This move has had a different affect on her. Her grades and study habits have definitely gotten better, which is good since middle school is calling her for next school year. However, she doesn't really have any "out-of-school" friends, which is a little disturbing for the parents. She has always had so many visitors over and it is a little painful for us to see her lonely. There are no kids in our church who are her age and are willing to be friends with her. She is still her sweet, if growing toward adolescence, self, but there is something a little hollow in her smile these days.

Youngest has had to adjust to a chaotic classroom with some pretty tough kids and an inexperienced teacher. He is making friends on our block now and that seems to help. I worry that he'll be a crowd-follower throughout his growing up years and that we'll have to walk through some tough times with him. I think he would rather be back in a small town, but he is adjusting to city life.

Carol hides her feelings about the situation. When things are tense at the church (more often than not), she is ready to throw the whole thing over and move onto other things. She prefers the quiet, country feel of a small town but seems to like some of the amenities (museums, parks, cultural opportunities) of the city.

I enjoy this area. I love the biking trails, the Y, having professional sports right down the street (15 minutes to the Metrodome for a Twins game), coffee shops, traffic and the educational institutions nearby. I struggle so badly with the pastor role in a small, local church, but love the cross-cultural ministry opportunities offered in my interaction with pastors and leaders in North Minneapolis and throughout the metro. I often think God has moved me here to launch me into something bigger, better designed for who I am.

So, how do we keep five distinct individuals happy and satisfied? It is a question for which I don't really have an answer right now. As I said before, balance is hard.

Ugh!

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Tue, 30 May 2006 18:14:00 +0000

When we think of a pastor, I believe we most often think in terms of someone who is good at nurturing and taking care of needs, who will offer wise counsel and solace to those who are troubled or hurting. When you fill the role of pastor and all you really have to offer is what you can do "up front", if your only strength is the teaching/preaching aspect of the position, then it is really ugly when you deliver a sermon that just hangs out there in the air for a few seconds before gravity grabs it and it crashes to the floor. It feels like being naked in front of everyone in the room, knowing that you're sinking fast and there is nothing else in your makeup or history to cry out, "It's okay! This is not all I am! You know my other strengths, so just rely on those in this awkward moment!"

Sunday I laid out a clunker. It looked so good on paper and it was delivered so poorly. Add to that the fact that about half of the crowd was made up of visitors from other parts of the country and the uncomfortable factor was incredible. I wanted nothing so much as a place to hide. It felt like farting in class. It just reinforces the urgency of my need to find something else to do, something that I am designed to do. The ultimate showdown must be approaching.

Updates and Other Passing Thoughts

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Sat, 27 May 2006 15:36:00 +0000

She is very sick. Inoperable, advanced liver cancer that doesn't respond to chemo. Experimental drug treatment which could prolong her life, but no medical hope for a cure. And way too young to be going through this. As I asked in my last post, please pray. Her name is Jill.

Our next scheduled trip to Mississippi is June 24 through July 1. Right now it isn't looking too promising, as we really need at least 20 people to make these trips work. We have FOUR signed up as of now. Cut off date is this Wednesday. If not in June, we're heading down in September. Let's hope that we're still rebuilding from Katrina and not cleaning up from another major hurricane.

This is Memorial Day weekend. My grandma turns 84 tomorrow. She has been alone for 23 years, as my grandpa died suddenly at 61. He was a veteran of World War II. One of the regrets of my life was never really knowing him. He was a good man, just not easy to get deep with. I don't know what he might have seen or experienced in the war because he simply wouldn't talk about it. He spent his days managing a credit union in Kansas City, his evenings working in his HUGE gardens on the 40 or so acres he owned just outside St. Joseph, MO, and his summer nights listening to the Royals (back when they were good) on the radio. He took me to my first and many subsequent baseball games. He never met my wife, never saw my kids, and he left us entirely too soon. I miss him often, never more than Memorial Day.

I'm within three pounds of my goal of losing 35 pounds. It has been a lot of work, but it does feel good. I'm able to do hour long "boot camp" and "spinning" classes at the YMCA, I ran about four miles (maybe more) early this morning and plan to work out again this afternoon. I have discovered that I can live without sweets most days. Maintenance will be tougher, but this is nice.

I still don't have a clue of what I'm doing with my life. I get headaches and stressed out when I start having to do the real "pastoring stuff", but don't have other options yet. I really hope the Master's program is reality for me this fall so I can make some preparations for the future.

That about does it.

Please Pray

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Mon, 15 May 2006 21:37:00 +0000

I just hung up the phone with a dear friend who is heading to the oncologist's office for the "bad news" about his wife. They were given the "good news" over the phone. Cancer is a scary thing to face anytime, especially something if you are a 40 something mom and wife working hard to help your family thrive. My heart breaks.

I've been there--the uncertainty, the fear, the imaginings. A couple of years ago, it was my wife we were waiting to hear about. We were just sure she had MS. However, for us the news was more good than bad. No MS. Still, so many symptoms remain to this day that we wonder if they really got the diagnosis completely right. I can't imagine being the wife who is waiting for the news. I know full well what it is like to be the helpless husband who can't, no matter how hard he tries, no matter how much he wants, make things better. It is emasculating, it is humbling, it can be crippling. So, as I pray for my friends, I ask anyone who might pass by this site to pray as well.

Peace of Christ to you.

She Hate Me

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Thu, 11 May 2006 14:17:00 +0000

Sometimes all I can do is scratch my head and wonder. I tend to be a guy that makes people laugh, a guy who makes things light and fun, a guy who doesn’t have anything malicious or hateful about him. So it bothers me when someone doesn’t like me. With that as background, a woman here has bypassed that awkward getting acquainted stage and advanced directly to “I hate you. I hate everything you say. I suspect everything you do. The world would be better if you were dead.” Ouch. Don’t pass go and don’t collect $200!

The fact that she despises me and I can’t figure out why is bad enough. What is worse, though, is the way this paralyzes me, the way it stresses me out. I have a headache and my stomach is in turmoil today, and I know it is because she is under my skin. I dread going to church, going to my office, making any decisions, taking any actions, because I KNOW there will be sarcastic criticism, no matter what. If ten people tell me today that they love and appreciate me, the only voice I have heard at the end of the day is her voice of hatred. Why is that? Am I that flawed or is this something others struggle with.

My dad tells me I just have to ignore her, just move on. Unfortunately, I’m not my dad. It matters to me that people like me. He doesn’t care. He loves being a pastor. I would give just about anything to be doing something else. I am so turned inside out that I don’t know where to go from here.

Off to Mississippi, Redux

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Tue, 18 Apr 2006 15:25:00 +0000

Today is Tuesday. On Saturday, we leave for our second relief trip to Mississippi. Woo hoo! I love having these opportunities to touch lives in a place that is quietly sinking into depression as it awaits the next hurricane season. Russ and I went down a couple of weeks ago to get our projects set up and got the opportunity to talk to some people while we were there. I was most struck by a pastor--a pretty upbeat guy--who said he thinks there is a mass post-traumatic stress disorder in the area. Seven-plus months after Katrina and life can't get back to normal for so many people in the Gulf region.

This trip is designed to do physical work during the day and do some serious "life-touching" at night--block parties hosted by our group to get people back into community at least for a night. Lives have become so "separate" in Gulfport, as entire neighborhoods have been dispersed to various FEMA trailer parks and no one feels secure enough to invest in new relationships, or they are working so hard to get their lives back that everyone else becomes faceless and nameless. It is an acute look at the overall state of our country I think. Our problems or obstacles are perhaps less severe, but the results are the same. We have no community. And because God seems to work so much better in community, we are pushing God out as well. Is it any wonder our country seems so sick?

Pray for us. If you are interested in helping out with the trip or helping a family in MS with a donation, let me know.

Peace of Christ to you.

Holiness in Community

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 17:53:00 +0000

Yesterday I read the "Holiness Manifesto", published on the Christianity Today site, as well as an interview with the author. Coming from "holiness tradition" churches, I read it with interest. One of the important thoughts contained is the idea of holiness being lived out in community. We have transferred our American ideal of rugged individualism into our faith walk. We think we're responsible only to and for ourselves before God, but the ministry of Jesus was communal, the early church lived life and faith together. I am reminded of St. Francis and the community of brothers (and sisters) he gathered and ministered among.

If holiness is lived out in community, then the way I treat and respond to others has a lot to say about my relationship with Christ and whether or not I am living in his holiness. Externals are less significant (manner of dress, whether or not a person drinks a glass of wine on occasion, etc.) than the way I give away the love and grace of Christ to those whose lives I touch each day. Holiness reflects Jesus rather than church tradition or some of the structural teachings of the biblical epistles. I think.

Where Is the Fulfillment?

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Thu, 02 Mar 2006 22:17:00 +0000

My wife and I had a little disagreement this week. She is very worried that I came home from Mississippi sick and am slow in recovery. It ate at me all day. I finally figured out what I was feeling. The time I spent helping people--hands on--in Mississippi was real, it was invigorating, it touched my soul. If two weeks of coughing and tiredness are the price I pay for being alive, it is more than worth it. The mental illness I seem to experience in the everyday blandness of this other side of my life seems to be the greater sickness and not worth the trouble.

God has graciously allowed me some new projects to work with to help divert my attention from the drudgery of pastoral work. I've been talking to a friend about creating one church out of our two and using the added resources to be more forward thinking and outward reaching in ministry. We work well together and I can see genuine benefits in teaming up. We're also planning Gulf Coast Trip 2 (II, for Roman numeral afficianados) for April 22 - 29. A new component of that trip will be some outreach parties in the neighborhood we're working in--hands on work with kids and families, bringing some joy in joyless lives. I'm really stoked about this. One hope is that we'll come home and do these same kind of parties in neighborhoods around us here in the Twin Cities. Hope! Life! Joy! Yesssss!!!

Katrina Revisited

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Wed, 22 Feb 2006 22:23:00 +0000

I realize it has been two weeks since I last posted. The trip to Mississippi took a week of that time. Recovering from the sickness I brought back has taken the rest. So, today I'll try to reflect on what I/we learned on our trip to the Gulf Coast and our interaction with new friends whose lives were greatly altered by Hurricane Katrina.

It is quite remarkable how hard it is to begin if the damage is to your house. Our team, coming from the outside and having no strong emotional attachments to the houses we were working on, was able to get organized and moving so that we could empty a house and take it down to the studs in a day. We were able to finish five jobs in four days. The people who owned those houses were trying to simply survive and often didn't know where to begin in getting their houses emptied out and ready for reconstruction. The magnitude of the damage could be paralyzing.

The needs of the people of the region go far beyond simply reacquiring stuff. I think what those we worked with needed as much as anything was for someone to come in and simply spend some time, to lend an ear and a shoulder. Knowing someone cared and would carry the emotional burden with them seemed as important as the physical work. It was a good reminder for everyday living. There are many people here who need that same spiritual and emotional companionship, that same physical presence, if we will just be available to provide it.

Jesus doesn't go to Mississippi without us. He travels on our hands and feet. I am home now with a greater passion to be his agent, to take him to places where he is desperately needed, places where he earnestly wants to go but is waiting for me to take him there. Knowing and feeling it, living it becomes the journey.

Katrina Relief Trip

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Wed, 08 Feb 2006 16:39:00 +0000

Today is Wednesday. On Saturday, I'll be heading out with a group of about 55 people to Mississippi for a week of reconstruction and relief work for some of those who suffered through Hurricane Katrina. What an awesome opportunity to be Jesus for a week. I'm pretty much inept at construction stuff, but I can lift things and be a helper-type. Grunt labor is within my skill set!

God has been working on me the past several months about being more hands-on. I'm wrestling with whether or not the church is a place that really promotes or even allows "hands-on". People are broken and hurting in America and around the world and we're simply taking care of our own. We rarely sacrifice, we give rather than go, we live safe and predictable lives. I'm becoming less and less impressed. I want to be a GO-ER. I don't have much to offer, but Jesus says even a cup of cold water given in his name... I can do cold water.

Have you ever started on a journey with no clue as to its ultimate destination? That's where I feel my life is. I guess this Saturday is the first step down the road. I wonder where it is headed. I wonder if I'll survive the trip. I wonder...

With Apologies to the Truly Called

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Sat, 28 Jan 2006 19:20:00 +0000

After getting in trouble with some of my pastor/preacher friends, let me add this caveat to my previous post (Who Am I and Why Am I Here?): When I say any knucklehead can be a pastor, what I should say is said knucklehead can do the work, the tasks of a pastor with some effort and common sense. I think that when one has a genuine divine calling to pastoral ministry that something more happens. I think that person has more effect on people and experiences a deeper sense of satisfaction and fulfillment than those who are simply following a vocational path.

So, apologies to those whose ministries are life. Pray for the guys like me who wonder if we aren't just going through the motions, doing the work but finding little joy there.

Who Am I and Why Am I Here?

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Wed, 25 Jan 2006 22:20:00 +0000

Tonight I will begin leading a group of people through a process of who they are in Christ, considering things like spiritual gifts, temperament, leadership styles, and personality makeup. As I lead them through this exercise, I'll be asking, "How am I qualified to lead this discussion?" I'm 41 years old and am still not sure what I want to be when I grow up!

I have some sort of "adult-onset ADD" and have a real attention-span problem. I don't seem to fit tradtional church ministry, yet keep ending up as a pastor. I have a hard time with being a pastor, as I find it pretty much unchallenging and unsatisfying. It seems a job any knucklehead could do if he/she would just put out a little effort and use some common sense. I usually gravitate toward leadership roles, either through my own desire or through the desires of others around me. I'm something of a contemplative, yet find I operate best when with people. I love to teach, I enjoy writing. I am at a point in life where I would like to do something of significance. I'm not at all sure what is out there for guys like me.

I am tired of spending two or three years in a position and then moving on to a similar position somewhere else. I really need to find my place and finish out the course with more joy and energy than I have had thus far.

Kids and the Journey

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Wed, 18 Jan 2006 22:23:00 +0000

I met with my spiritual director today. I mentioned that I was so wrapped up in the stuff of the day that I wasn't finding much spiritual going on. One of the areas I wasn't feeling so spiritual was in the raising of our children. He pointed out that going through the process of raising our kids is a remarkably clear picture of our spiritual journey. I've been trying to sort that out today.

Our oldest is a sophomore. She is ready to be OUT of our house, OUT on her own. She is such a great kid. She has been my heart. But man, is it hard to give her more freedom and let her try those wings. She doesn't hate us, she would just rather be with someone else these days. I remember when I was everything she needed and wanted. I'm afraid I missed the joy of those days.

Our second is getting ready for middle school. She still loves to hug and cuddle, she has a ready smile and an attitude that could conquer the world. I want so badly to keep her there forever, and yet it isn't going to happen. Nor should it happen. She is going on, finding new worlds that I may or may not be able to experience with her.

Our youngest is struggling to be a man at eight years old. He wants his hair longer, he doesn't want too much public affection, he wants to be a hero. He loves Star Wars and epic hero stories. I love sports and find it hard to understand him sometimes. I realize that I've got to take interest in his life or he too will be gone and I'll have nothing to hold but regrets.

So, I'm seeing my attitude toward God, experiencing his heart and trying to take note of the lessons He's is teaching me as my wife and I try to be godly parents and raise God-aware kids. It is quite an adventure.

Country Boys

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Wed, 11 Jan 2006 19:38:00 +0000

I have spent the last two nights watching the first four hours of the PBS Frontline documentary, "Country Boys". It is compelling stuff. Following the lives of two teenaged boys growing up in dysfunctional settings in Appalachia, they look at their lives for one year each night as they try to finish high school at an alternative school. Chris is a bit of a drama queen, playing for the camera (although with his family situation, I guess it can be forgiven).

Cody, however, keeps me coming back. Mom died when he was little. Dad was married six times, the last time to a stripper. When Cody was 12, his dad went into the strip club and blew away the stepmom before turning the gun on himself. Cody bounced around his dad's family before ending up living with his stepmom's mother, the one solid influence in his life. He got saved (his words) somewhere along the line and is active in a church, playing guitar in a worship band while trying to get his own heavy metal band going. At the end of year two, he is talking about wanting to be a preacher.

Much of his lifestyle stuff doesn't match his talk. But listening to him talk about God and how he relates to God and how he relates to people because of God is amazing. He is naturally funny and really laid back for a kid with such a horrible history. I'm looking forward to watching the concluding episode tonight to see how things go for him through the "end" of the story. It has been an enlightening look at how life can be for some in our country, people who could be some of my relatives, but whom I probably don't understand.

Tragedy in West Virginia

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Wed, 04 Jan 2006 16:07:00 +0000

My heart hurts today. I stayed up late last night to watch the Penn State-Florida State game and was overjoyed that they had found 12 of the miners in West Virginia alive! I woke up this morning to discover that the announcement was wrong: 12 of the miners were dead and only one survived.

How horrible for the families, for the community. It would have been difficult to absorb and deal with ONE lost life, but to have been given hope and then find out that 12 were gone? The pain, the sorrow and the despair must be overwhelming.

It's easy to be concerned when a tsunami happens or Katrina occurs, because hundreds (or thousands, or hundred-thousands) die and the damage is so clearly seen. The damage here can't be seen so easily, but the effect will be felt for years to come.

My deepest sympathies go out to the families and loved ones, to the community that has lost these 12. May God's grace be yours.

Christmas Shoes

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Tue, 20 Dec 2005 18:53:00 +0000

My son has a dress-up day at school tomorrow. Of course, with his recent growth spurt, he has no nice shoes. So today his mom is out buying him a pair of black shoes. He specified BLACK SHOES. It has me thinking of the Christmas Shoes song I've heard on the radio about a million times in the last three weeks.

I think that the kid might be scamming us. I'm not sure there really is a mama needing Christmas shoes. For crying out loud, she's been sick for how many Christmases now? Why can't she wear the shoes the guy paid for last year? It could be like the email from the guy in Nigeria, wanting to give me a cut of his 60, 70, 100 million dollar inheritance.

I admit that as much as I love Christmas, I'm a bit jaded about these emotional tug songs written in the past few years. I sing along while rolling my eyes. Give me 24 hours of "All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Vince Vance and the Valiants, and I'll be happy!

The Countdown Is On

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Sun, 18 Dec 2005 22:09:00 +0000

Today is the final Sunday in Advent this year. One week from today we'll be celebrating the birth of Christ, our hope for life. What happens in this last week?

Way too much shopping
Too many fattening foods
Physical, emotional and spiritual exhaustion
A sense of forgetting
A lack of direction

Why? Wouldn't it be amazing to simply be silent, to let the days melt away in contemplation and await the blessed event? I likely won't, as I get as wrapped in all the wrongheaded motives of the season as anyone I know. Yet my heart longs for something more (or less), something quieter and more substantive. So, perhaps when that which is planted in my heart truly becomes the motivation of my life I'll slow down rather than speed up, I'll walk with God rather than try to outrun him. Perhaps.

Getting Started

noreply@blogger.com (Joe) — Wed, 14 Dec 2005 22:45:00 +0000

A new experiment--joining the world of blogging. I'm feeling pretty out of touch, as it seems everyone else has been a blogger for years and I'm just coming on board.

I'm restless. I'm always looking for what is down the road or around the bend. I have a hard time living in the present because I know there's something better further on.

God's funny. For the past three years in particular He has had me living amongst people who can be best described as steady. Northern Iowa, and now Minnesota, are not the easiest cultures in the world for a restless person. So, I assume God is trying to teach me something--about myself, about Himself, about people, about life. I'll try to remember to record some of those lessons here.